


I need another story

by gracefulbirb



Series: Batfam Prompts and Stories [4]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Robin (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types, Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dick Grayson Gets a Hug, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Gen, Hurt Dick Grayson, Songfic, Tumblr Prompt, alternate universe jumping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:26:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25831288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracefulbirb/pseuds/gracefulbirb
Summary: Prompt from anonymous: could you do a prompt about Dick just losing it with the Batfam? I really don't like how he's treated like shit a lot of the time when he's been through so much :/ like no one's ever asked if he's been okay after Blockbuster or asked how he felt after Mirage or how he felt when Bruce forced him into Spyral or how he feels after dying???? Or even the fact that his name "Robin" is now nothing more than a name??Dick finally cracking and breaking after everything he's been through.Now includes a sneak peak of what he does after leaving!
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Julianna Xavier, Dick Grayson & Midnighter, Dick Grayson & Wally West, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne
Series: Batfam Prompts and Stories [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1850389
Comments: 118
Kudos: 335





	1. Gonna Give All My Secrets Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dick Grayson finally breaks.
> 
> It was only a matter of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off the prompt above and using the song "Secrets" by OneRepublic.
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

_I_ _need another story  
Something to get off my chest  
My life gets kinda boring  
Need something that I can confess_

“It’s just some stupid name!” screamed Jason, cheeks flushed red in anger as Dick threw the Robin mantle on the ground, glass shattering across the floor. “What’s the big deal? You’re not Robin anymore. It’s just a stupid name, I bet I could have picked a better name.”

Dick glared at the younger boy, voice dripping with venom.

“You have _no idea_ what it meant to me,” he snarled, storming away. _How could Bruce do this to him-_

_  
'Til all my sleeves are stained red  
From all the truth that I've said  
Come by it honestly I swear  
Thought you saw me wink, no  
I've been on the brink, so_

“Jason’s dead, Dick!” Bruce shouted, punching Dick hard, knocking him onto the ground, a large bruise starting to appear on his jaw already. “And it’s _your_ fault.”

Dick staggered back; arms braced for impact as Bruce swung at the younger man again.

“ _You should have treated Jason better,_ ” Bruce yelled, hitting Dick again. The younger man glared back at the older man, blood starting to drip from his mouth.

Dick didn’t mention that _he had tried_ really hard to get on with Jason and that Bruce wasn’t the only one hurting.

“You’re a _shit_ father,” Dick spat out and motioned to carry on, but Bruce knocked him to the floor before he could continue. _  
  
Tell me what you want to hear  
Something that will light those ears  
Sick of all the insincere  
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away  
  
_

“You _killed_ Wally, and you nearly killed Artemis and Kaldur too!” Lagoon Boy shouted, pushing Dick down onto the floor. “You’re a _coward_ and a _murderer._ ”

Dick got up slowly, glad the mask was covering his eyes because he _wasn’t ok how could he be ok-_

“I think it’s for the best if you leave, Nightwing,” Black Canary grit out, venom laced in her words slightly as he felt her glare on her.

Dick nodded; he didn’t bother looking back.

_This time don't need another perfect lie  
Don't care if critics ever jump in line  
I'm gonna give all my secrets away_

“How couldn’t you tell that it wasn’t me? It should have been obvious it was Mirage and not me. You clearly _cheated_ on me!” Starfire raged, punching Dick.

Dick bowed his head, feeling the tears burn at his eyes.

“That’s what you _think,_ ” he grit out, clenching his fists. “I’m leaving.”

He grabbed his bag from the room, ignoring Starfire’s accusations as he walked away.

_My God, amazing how we got this far  
It's like we're chasing all those stars  
Who's driving shiny big black cars  
And everyday I see the news  
All the problems that we could solve  
And when a situation rises  
Just write it into an album  
Send it straight to gold  
But I don't really like my flow, no, so_

Dick couldn’t sleep anymore, every time he shut his eyes he could still hear her, _feel her_. He didn’t want to _be here_ anymore. He felt the cold sweat prick at his skin as he shot upright in bed, still feeling phantom touches on his skin.

He still felt dirty, he’d scrubbed his skin raw but he still felt _tainted still felt dirty-_

Dick stumbled over to the fridge and pulled out the beer. The liquid was cold, it was soothing...

It made everything go away. _  
Tell me what you want to hear  
Something that will light those ears  
Sick of all the insincere  
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away  
  
_

Bruce was dead and everyone expected him to be okay.

How could they?

Jason ran off, after attempting to steal the cowl.

Tim, Tim had abandoned Dick after refusing to hear his explanation on why Damian was appointed as Robin.

Only 25 and stuck as CEO of a company he never wanted, stuck with Batman mantle he never wanted, and stuck with a stuck-up racist child who he never wanted.

Tim had left in a flurry of tears and hateful words. Jason had left with mocking jibes.

Dick looked up from where he sat, met with Damian’s hateful scowl.

“You’re a disgrace to the Wayne name, your stupid gypsy blo-”

“Shut up,” Dick snapped.

_  
This time, don't need another perfect lie  
Don't care if critics ever jump in line  
I'm gonna give all my secrets away  
  
_

Everything Dick had done was taken away. Bruce had appeared back as if he was never gone. He took everything Dick had done. Not a word of thanks.

He’d taken Damian, and Tim and Jason had returned home and treated him like nothing ever happened. Damian had thrown him aside without a second glance, Tim had returned acting as if nothing had ever happened.

It hurt. It hurt _so much._

_  
Oh, got no reason, got no shame  
Got no family I can blame  
Just don't let me disappear  
I'mma tell you everything  
  
_

“You never died, Dick,” Jason screamed, punching Dick in the face as he returned from Spyral. “How dare you do something like that?”

He wanted to say _ohgodyesjasonbutidid-_

Tim didn’t speak to him, eyes dark as he spat out, “You’re dead to me.”

Damian wasn’t much better, looking hurt and spiteful.

Dick just wanted to _scream_ but he didn’t.

_  
So tell me what you want to hear  
Something that will light those ears  
Sick of all the insincere  
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away_

“The name Robin is a bit strange,” Tim commented offhandley as they hung out after patrol.

“Yeah,” Jason sneered, looking at Dick. “It’s such a stupid name. Why’d you pick it?”

“Don’t mock Grayson, he’s only from gypsies afterall, I bet he couldn’t even spell properly before father took him in,” Damian mocked.

Dick could barely hold himself back as he stalked away angrily from the three of them.

“Hey, Dick, it was only a jo-” he heard Jason call after him.

_  
  
This time, don't need another perfect lie  
Don't care if critics ever jump in line  
I'm gonna give all my secrets away  
  
_

“I’m so lost, Alfred, I don’t know what to do anymore,” Dick sobbed, wiping his eyes furiously as he looked onto the well-kept gravestone in front of him. “I miss you so much. I need you here.”

A bitter laugh escaped his lips, “I’m such a terrible person, aren’t I? Complaining to a grave?” he said, casting one more longing look at the grave before trudging out the graveyard, hands stuffed in his pockets.

_  
So tell me what you want to hear  
Something that will light those ears  
Sick of all the insincere  
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away  
  
_

Dick knew it was selfish, but he couldn’t resist the satisfaction he felt when he left everyone other than Wally out of his will.

It was petty but he was selfish. He wanted to be selfish _just this once._

A sick feeling spread in his gut, he couldn’t _wait_ to leave this life behind and _leave everyone_ behind. Dick Grayson was going to be dead to world and he’d be free to do everything he’d ever wanted.

No pressure, no standards, no beatings, no more racist slurs.

_  
This time, don't need another perfect lie  
Don't care if critics ever jump in line  
I'm gonna give all my secrets away  
All my secrets away, all my secrets away_

“Bruce!” Tim screeched, barrelling into the cave, looking more scared than Bruce had ever seen him.

His next words made Bruce’s mind screech to a halt.

“Dick’s gone.”

_All my secrets away_

No one noticed the man cloaked in black, who stood from a distance as Dick Grayson’s funeral took place, with a small sad smile on his face

_Gonna give all my secrets...._

_away._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Instead of Dick losing it, I wrote it as him breaking under everything he's been through.
> 
> Also based loosely off the saying "Some doors, once opened, can never be closed"  
> but in this context, "Some people, once broken, can never be the same again."
> 
> Don't forget to comment! I read every single one :)
> 
> EDIT:  
> Thanks so much for reading! Please leave me some love and comments, I treasure every single one of my comments like gold. 
> 
> On a side note, if you wouldn't mind checking out (following and liking too- please??) my friend's beautiful art account, I would very much appreciate you :) She's such an amazing and lovely person and deserves all the love in the world! Click [HERE](https://www.instagram.com/golden._.rayed/) or find her @golden._.rayed on instagram! If it's any encouragement, she will (probably) be drawing some fanart for THIS VERY STORY and more for our beloved Batfam members!!! So I urge you to follow her because although she may have just started, she deserves the world and far more publicity. She's such a lovely person too and will be happy to talk to you about literally anything :) So go spam her-- I won't nag you guys anymore- also thanks again for checking out my story!
> 
> EDIT 2: 
> 
> CAN PEOPLE STOP TELLING ME THAT I'M WRONG AND THIS ISN'T CANNON? Literally though guys, you're literally reading a FANFICTION, you basically signed up for something as non-cannon as possible so please stop telling me that I'm wrong and this isn't cannon- obviously it isn't, there's a reason why this is called a FANFICTION. 
> 
> Sorry, rant over! Please enjoy the story! :)   
> Come bug and scream at me on my tumblr [HERE](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/gracefulbirb) :)


	2. When we all fall asleep-where does he go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does he run away? What does he do?
> 
> Who does he meet?
> 
> Dick Grayson starts anew one step at a time. 
> 
> Meeting Xylia was only one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a spin-off story of what Dick could have gotten up to.
> 
> Don't worry!! The Batfam WILL be making an appearance soon, I just wanted to introduce how Dick is feeling and who he meets. 
> 
> Xylia- she's a throwback to my character in my X-Men series. She is aMaziNG and such an interesting character as you will find out later on! She is not OP although she may come across as it. 
> 
> Next update will feature more of Dick's real feelings and how he deals with them. Like I said, next update will 100% contain Batfamily so stick around!!

Dick choked, shooting up in bed, sweat beading down his face as he gently brushed his throat with his shaking hands.

_It was just a nightmare_

His eyes flickered onto the note that had been sitting on his desk for ages. After the Spyral business, Midnighter had slipped his contact details to Dick, in the case that he needed something not quite legal.

He got up and took the hastily scribbled number into his hands shakily before punching in the number. He couldn’t do this anymore.

“Who’s this?” Midnighter’s familiar voice grumbled after three tries.

“Midnighter,” Dick breathed out. “I need to out. Disappear, vanish, get out of this hell.”

“Breathe Grayson, breathe,” Midnighter barked out over the phone although there was underlaying concern. “Where are you?”

“Home. Bludhaven. Flat,” Dick forced out, chest heaving as he sucked in air. There was silence on the other side as he heard the other man scribbling.

“Got it. You stay there alright, Grayson?” Midnighter’s rough voice said sternly. Dick nodded before remembering that Midnighter couldn’t see him.

“Yes,” he breathed out, still breathless. The line went flat.

Dick reached for a glass of water, choking as he tried to swallow. He could still feel the pill. Still remember what it’d been like. He blinked again.

Wearily, he remembered Bruce wanted a case study handed in.

* * *

“You sure you want to do this?” Midnighter asked as he looked at the apartment which had been bursting with life only days ago. “You’re leaving behind everything.”

Dick nodded, pleased that his hands were only shaking slightly.

“I can’t keep up the façade anymore M,” he explained. “Dick Grayson died a long time ago. I’m just a shell of what he used to be.” Midnighter frowned at this.

“I got a contact, she’s a lil’ special but she’ll be able to get you to your feet,” Midnighter grunted after a few moments of silence. “You stick with her and she’ll do everything for you for a small fee. She can help you throw those bats off your trail,” he paused to glance at Dick. “You sure you want this?”

“For the last time, yes,” Dick sighed, raking a hand through his greasy hair. He felt disgusting but the dirt allowed him to feel protected against the phantom touches of Tarantula. He shivered at the thought.

“You’re really not okay,” Midnighter sighed, looking at Dick. Dick shook his head.

“I’m fine. I’m always fine. I can’t not be fine,” Dick replied almost on a reflex before wincing. “I’m not fine.”

“Get in the car Grayson,” Midnighter huffed out, taking the suitcase from Dick’s hand. “Say goodbye to this trash city. I’m going to take you to the airport, you wear this ring, it’ll obscure your identity, and you use this passport, okay? The flight’s booked for Wenchester. My contact will meet you at the airport.”

Dick nodded, taking in all the information as he took the ring and passport. He glanced back at Bludhaven.

There wasn’t anyone to say goodbye, afterall, he was leaving _because of them._

* * *

“You really are a sight for sore eyes,” a woman with dark hair greeted him as he passed the passport control.

“Who may you be?” he asked, eyes flickering over the other person. Midnighter had told Dick that he and the contact hadn’t been in touch for the last ten odd years but had been willing to help Dick out due to a favour she owed him. Apparently, she was trustworthy although a little on the strange side, Midnighter was personally convinced that she was some sort of spirit. Dick didn’t judge, he’d heard weirder.

“Xylia,” she said grinning as she brushed her hair away from her face. Dick blinks in surprise. She looks far younger than he had anticipated.

Dark chestnut waves framed her freckled face, one eye a blinding blue and the other a dark brown, however, despite her youthful appearance, her face was littered with scars, two scars significantly deeper than the rest, forming an “X” shape over her blue right eye. She was dressed in a dark blue hoodie and black jeans, leaving nothing to the imagination.

“My face is up here, honey,” Xylia scoffed. “Trust me, I’m a lot older than I look.”

Dick blushed red. How long had it been since he’d freely been able to talk without being watched?

“Sorry, I’m…” he paused as he glanced at his passport. “Peter Cox?”

Xylia wrestled down a laugh. “Alright then, Peter,” she said, her lips pressed into a wry smile. “Come with me. Let’s get business down.” She turned around to walk towards the car park, expecting Dick to follow.

He followed after her, grabbing his suitcase with an ease he hadn’t felt since he’d been adopted by Bruce. He felt carefree disguised as someone else with no prying eyes.

He couldn’t wait until he could feel like this everyday.

* * *

“M said you could throw the Bats off my trail,” Dick said, settling down into the guest room of Xylia’s house.

Xylia nodded, leaning back in her chair. “I can,” she confirmed. “But nothing is free.”

“What do you want? I have money,” Dick said, frowning. “I’m not going to sell myself,” he said suddenly, carefree attitude vanishing.

“Don’t worry honey,” Xylia responded, flicking her brown hair across her shoulder as she set her eyes on him. “I’m not interested in _that._ My price is simple. You stay with me.”

“….what?” Dick asked, looking a little bewildered.

“I could have phrased that better,” Xylia admitted, leaning back in her chair further as she linked her hands together. “I’m an old woman-” Dick scoffed, she could be in her thirties at most. “And I’m lonely,” she finished off.

“You’re going to fool the whole Batfamily who are trained assassins, that I’m dead, in exchange for my time?” Dick scoffed out. “I thought you were a real deal. Guess Midnighter was wrong,” he huffed out, feeling disappointed. He got up to leave. He’d gotten his hopes so high as well-

The door slammed in front of him and the lights flickered.

“You step out of that door, and I’ll leave you dead in a ditch,” Xylia snapped, her eyes flashing. Dick stepped back from the door. He lifted a shaky hand to point at the door.

“What was that?” he asked. He didn’t realise Xylia had been a meta.

“Sorry, it must have slipped out, you angered me with such disrespect,” she said bluntly. “You need some _serious_ help, young man.”

Dick glanced at her. “What do you mean, help?”

She looked at him as if he’d asked her what colour the sky was.

“One, you decide on a whim that you’re going to leave your life behind without even thanking the people who raised you. Not even a goodbye? Don’t you know how utterely terrible they are going to feel? Secondly, who just walks out on life like that? You didn’t even pack most of your stuff. Midnighter told me you burnt everything you didn’t need? Thirdly, who follows a random stranger home and proceeds to act like a little child? Trust. Trust is earned. You don’t just follow a random stranger just because a friend recommended them. What if I was a murderer? I know Midnighter is a lovely man but he’s got some contacts which are far worse than anyone else I know,” she paused in her rant to get up and prod him in the chest. “You and I are going to do so much together but first, you’ve got to sort out your problems. I’m not a telepath but even I can tell that you need _help._ And lots of it too. You flinch when people raise their voices and you followed a stranger home. _Mein Gott,_ I don’t know what to do with you! Aren’t you meant to be some secret agent?”

Dick blinked at her outburst.

“You’re right. This was a mistake,” he sighed, slumping down. “This is selfish. What are they going to do without me? Jason will just run away again and start killing, Tim and Damian will be at each other’s throats. Bruce…oh god…Bruce will become depressed,” he took a deep breath in. “This was a dream I could never achieve.”

Xylia grabbed his wrist. “At least you’re finally seeing some sense but this doesn’t have to be a dream,” she told him gently, her tone softer than before. “I just want you to look at the bigger picture.”

Dick placed his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

A gentle hand settled onto his head, fingers caressing through his head in a well-practiced manner.

He wondered who she’d lost.

* * *

“Dick Grayson announced dead! Gotham’s prince in heaven! Case closed!” the TV blared.

Dick- oh wait he was John now- glanced blearily at the TV as he poured himself a bowl of cereal.

“Owdoodovat?” he slurred out between mouthfuls. Xylia glanced at him in disgust from where she sat on the counter reading a book.

“Finish your food,” she scolded before returning to her book. Dick- no he was John now- rolled his eyes before slurping down his cereal.

After many heated discussions, he’d finally decided to properly leave behind everything. Bruce and his brothers had all received a farewell letter although he’d left them out of the will. He hoped they’d be okay without him. Xylia hadn’t judged him for his actions.

They then created his new identity. John, after his father, and Xavier (pronounced Sa-vee-ay) as his surname because he liked French surnames and because of it’s similarity with Xylia’s name. He noticed that when he’d decided on the name, she’d always look pained saying it. She’d mispronounced it a number of times as Ex-saviour rather than Sa-vee-ay which puzzled him because he knew she could speak French.

Dick had no idea how she’d managed to get an authentic passport and papers for him as well as a glamour earing due to his face being too well known but he decided not to ask. Somehow along the way, they’d also gotten legally married. Dick decided it was alright in the long term, the Batfamily knew Dick had never wanted to get tied down so going as a married man lessened the chances of being found and it wasn’t as if Xylia wasn’t pretty either because she most definitely was.

“So tell me how you did it Xy,” he said, placing down his empty cereal bowl. Xylia rolled her eyes at his nickname. They’d somehow become more like a mother and child rather than a married couple.

“Basically, you know how I kept taking your blood for tests? Due to the slow extraction, I managed to extract more blood from you than I could have in one go without you dying. So, after placing the thoughts into some passerbyers’ heads that they saw Dick Grayson throw himself into Gotham Harbour, I splatted your blood onto the wall inside Gotham Harbour. Therefore, they’d assume if you jumped, you hit the wall and died before you even fell into the water. They never find your body because it would have been washed away,” she explained, as if this was something she did everyday. For all Dick knew, it could be. Despite living with her as her fake husband, he didn’t know much about her at all.

“Clever,” Dick complimented before frowning. “Wait…how did you get someone to see me? And how did you get there in the first place?” He didn’t recall her flying anywhere.

“I teleported there and planted a thought into someone’s head. Planting thoughts isn’t hard, practically anyone can do it if you have the right tools,” Xylia said as if talking to a child.

“Let me backpedal to the bit where you said you _teleported_?” Dick said, narrowing your eyes. “Your power was wind, wasn’t it?” She rolled her eyes again.

“I _copy_ powers,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I have meta-friends who let me copy their powers. You know, most metas just want to live their lives as free people. They have no desire to be vigilantes. Just be glad you’re officially dead and don’t have to worry.”

“Am I having a funeral?” he asked. Xylia nodded.

“Yeah, it’s a public event so you can probably snag on,” Xylia said. “Isn’t it kinda rude to attend your own funeral?”

Dick shrugged. “There’s no rule,” he said.

“True that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this really bland chapter.
> 
> Sorry to overwhelm you with this new character. 
> 
> She's pretty much irrelevant later on so don't worry if you hate OCs. This was more like getting to know her.
> 
> She's just moving along the plot.   
> She may come across as really shallow at first but she's got so much depth to her character I can't wait to show you guys about!
> 
> Check out the fic she's in(!!) on my profile if you love X-Men and most importantly Cherik! <3
> 
> Don't forget to leave kudos and comments <<3


	3. Curiosity killed the cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Batboys have hope.  
> In which Xylia and Dick settle into married life.  
> In which Midnighter and Apollo are worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING DEAD!!  
> So many things have been happening recently! I went on holiday last week and didn't have a computer with me so I couldn't update and I'm going back to work tomorrow so I had loads to catch up on!
> 
> This chapter is meant to be two chapters but I've decided you guys deserve a longer update! Thank you so much for sticking around and for your endless support!!

Its been a year since Grayson’s death.

Damian glanced at the Nightwing’s mantle which looked as though it had only been used yesterday. Drake had run away shortly after Grayson’s death, claiming that it was their fault he died. Todd hadn’t been much better. He was still in Gotham but had gone radio silent, only turning up sporadically to look at Grayson’s grave.

He was older now, and he hated how he could barely remember Grayson’s laughs anymore. Father never smiled anymore and had started to slack on his Batman duties claiming that his duties had pushed Grayson away to his death.

Damian sighed, drawing his knees to his chest and allowed himself to mourn.

* * *

“Hey kiddo,” Xylia greeted, walking into a flower shop. Dick waved at her from the till. He’d decided work at the local florists as a part time job and returned to go back to university in the rest of his spare time.

“Don’t call me that,” Dick chided playfully. His black hair was bleached blonde and slicked back over his head and his previously blue eyes were now covered with green contacts. “We’re married, remember?”

Xylia grinned back at him, plucking a bunch of flowers from the shelves and passing them to him. “Then I don’t suppose you could give me a free bunch of flowers then?” she joked, raising an eyebrow. Dick gave her an unimpressed stare, forcing a laugh out of Xylia as she got out her wallet to pay.

She was really proud of where Dick had gotten without much of help. Shortly after they had dealt with legal papers and Dick Grayson’s death, Dick had created his new life easily. He was going younger than he actually was, registered as 23 instead of 26, allowing him to attend university without much trouble while Xylia posed as his childhood sweetheart from high school. She worked part time as a professional musician and spending her spare time doing dodgy things that Dick didn’t really want to think about.

They’d decided to leave the US to stay out of the Bat’s line of view for a while, instead moving to England to a city named Brighton. Brighton was just about big enough to blend in but small enough to feel comfortable. Dick felt a lot more comfortable there than he had back in Gotham, he’d met several other Romani people and had been elated to finally speak his mother-tongue with someone else for the first time after his parents’ deaths.

“M is visiting,” Xylia said casusally as she bought the flowers. Dick gestured for her to continue. “He says he has news for you.” She examined her manicured nails before glancing back at Dick, gouging his reaction. Dick simply shrugged.

“Oh,” Dick said as if he wasn’t surprised. “Is he staying for dinner?” She shook her head. It was a code they used for asking if it was about vigilante business. Dick’s lips curled up in a grimace at the news.

“They say Timothy Drake, to-be CEO of Wayne Industries, is working hard to find out what happened to drive his older brother to the point of suicide,” Xylia said calmly, looking at Dick’s reaction, sounding like a normal person, commenting about the recent news. A few other customers entered, young teenage girls actually, all blushing and leering at Dick.

“That’s nice, darling,” Dick responded to Xylia, the emphasis on “darling” wasn’t missed by the teenage girls who all tutted and giggled as they realised Dick wasn’t single. “Seems like I have company, see you tonight?”

Xylia pressed a friendly kiss on Dick’s cheek before walking out the store, flowers still clutched in hand.

Life was good.

* * *

“Midnighter, Apollo,” Xylia greeted as she opened the door. Both Midnighter and Apollo greeted her, recognising her as she opened the door. “What was the purpose of this visit?”

“Won’t you invite us in?” Midnighter asked sarcastically. “Nice to see you too after ten odd years. You look just as beautiful as the first time we met.” Xylia flipped him the middle finger in response before opening the door to the apartment, allowing the two men in.

Dick greeted them calmly from inside the kitchen, still decked out in his apron as he brought out the food.

“You’re looking a lot less…” Midnighter paused to find an appropriate word. “Dead.”

“Thanks,” Dick responded sarcastically, plopping the food down onto the table aggressively.

“Xylia has worn onto you far too much, I don’t remember you talking to me with that much sarcasm- ever,” Midnighter quipped back, raising an eyebrow. Dick grinned back before taking off his apron and sitting down in one of the chairs in the room.

“So what do I owe to you for this visit?” he asked, pushing back his shaggy blonde hair. He didn’t recall anything happening that was worth Midnighter flying all the way just to tell him.

“The Bats,” Apollo cut in. “They’re suspicious.” Xylia made a displeased noise from where she stood in the doorway. “They think you’re not actually dead and have taken scouring Gotham Harbour regularly to find your body.”

“How? The death makes sense. Dick Grayson _is_ dead,” Dick said forcefully, leaning forward in his chair, eyebrows drawn together in annoyance. “G-d I miss them, but I don’t want anything with them anymore.” He pressed his hands to his head.

“The Dick Grayson they want is _dead._ I don’t want _anything_ to do with them anymore. They should know that from the letters alone,” Dick muttered darkly. “And they should respect it.”

* * *

“Damian! Damian!” Tim shouted, hurrying towards the towering Wayne Mansion as fast as he could on his legs. Without another care, he threw open the front floor, shouting for Damian.

“What is it Dra-Timothy?” Damian asked, appearing from the staircase, freshly awoken from Tim’s loud hollering. “Some of us need to sleep.”

“Damian, you won’t even believe!” Tim said ecstatically, unaffected by Damian’s gloominess. “I managed to hack into some airport cameras and I found something unbelievable!” Without another word, Tim sprinted up the staircase and plopped himself next to Damian’s feet, pulling out his laptop from his bag.

Damian couldn’t find it in himself to argue or insult Tim, it had been so long since Damian had seen anyone in his family smile and Dick’s letter _had_ said to be nicer to Tim. Damian wanted to respect Grayson’s words and decided to indulge in Tim’s interest.

“What exactly did you see?” Damian asked, sounding a little curious. If Tim had been less excited, he probably would have died from the shock of Damian being nice for once.

Tim thrust his computer in front of Damian’s face. “Look here! Isn’t that Dick?” Tim rambled, pushing the computer screen to Damian’s face, too close for comfort. Damian could make out a few split seconds where a man who looked identical to Grayson slipped on an illusion ring and suddenly transformed into an absolute stranger before the recording cut out.

“I think Dick might be alive, Damian! Someone obviously tampered with recordings because I can’t find anything on that person afterwards or how Dick got there but obviously, they didn’t manage to get rid of that short clip! There’s hope Damian, there’s hope yet,” Tim rambled, suddenly getting up and scooping Damian into a heartfelt hug although Damian was slightly taller than Tim was now. Damian allowed himself to feel a little hope and hugged Tim lightly back.

There was hope yet.

There _had to be._

* * *

__“So you’re telling me that because _YOU_ forgot to wipe the airport’s security properly, we have the freaking _BATMAN and co_ after us?” Xylia screeched, flinging her cutlery across the table, the fork narrowly missing Midnighter’s face by a few millimetres. He held his hands up in surrender.

“Xylia _darling,_ you have to understand th-” Apollo cut in only to be silenced as a tissue box hit him square in the face and promptly set on fire.

“Can we please calm down?” Dick bellowed over the noise but to no avail. Midnighter was in the process of sulking at the fact Xylia had yelled at him while Xylia and Apollo was busy putting out the fire caused by the tissue box.

“I haven’t forgiven you, by the way,” Xylia commented although the comment came off as a lot less aggressive as she was busy putting out the fire from Apollo. “I cannot express how _utterely_ disappointed I am!”

Dick sighed, running a hand through his blonde hair. “So, Midnighter, you’re telling me the Bats are after me and I should probably move?”

“No! It’d make you more suspicious! Stay here, don’t go anywhere,” Midnighter said, snapping out of his daze. “That’s what Apollo and I came to tell you. They’ll probably see you and hopefully won’t recognise you.” Apollo nodded to Midnighter’s words as Xylia frowned, her eyebrows drawn together in a frown.

“They’d recognise Dick in a heartbeat, he was their older brother. I’d recognise my little brother anywhere so there’s no reason they’d not recognise Dick,” Xylia insisted, looking put out. “I don’t think I can glamour you before they come either. It’d be too much of a hassle to find an illusionist meta and I don’t think I’d be able to hold up a illusion for that long.”

“I…I think we should do what Midnighter said. Let them come. Even if they recognise me it’s their loss,” Dick said slowly, surprising everyone. “They need to learn to be without me, they never did _anything_ for me, why do I have to change my life just to escape them again? I’m happy where I am, I’m finally getting the chance to study at university and live life out of the press. I can put my own limits on the things I want to do and don’t have responsibilities I never asked for piled onto me.”

A small smile appeared on Xylia’s lips. “Huh, you really have changed,” Midnighter huffed out, looking impressed. “You were at death’s door last time we met. I’m pleased.”

Dick blushed bashfully, “Well Xylia helped a lot. She’s been a rock for me and I’ve gone to so much therapy I think I have a phobia of therapists,” he joked although he was mostly honest. The older girl tutted at him although the small smile stayed on her lips as she ruffled his hair.

“ _Gott,_ you remind me of my little brother so much,” Xylia said, sounding a little choked up. “You’re just a little angel.” She pressed a chaste kiss on his forehead in affection, gaining a loud snort from Apollo.

“I recall you calling me a ‘failure in life’ just the other week after I failed to buy you milk from the supermarket,” Dick said dryly although he looked pleased with the affection.

“Hush,” Xylia laughed, swatting his head as she pulled away. “You must know milk is essential for me, it’s everything!”

“Sure,” Dick said rolling his eyes. “How do we even pass off as a married couple in public when in reality you’re worse than my mum?”

“Acting. That’s what,” she responded grinning.

* * *

“G-d, you’re telling me that Dick could actually be alive?” Jason gasped out, eyes wide as both Tim and Damian crashed into his apartment. He looked disbelieving.

“It’s true! There’s a chance he’s somewhere! We never found the body anyway,” Tim gushed out, eyes wide with hope that Jason couldn’t help but reflect. His eyes drifted over his desk. Dick’s letter still sat there, unopened and untouched. He didn’t have the guts to open and feel the judgement of a dead man.

But now here was replacement, gushing with news that there was a chance Dick wasn’t actually dead, was alive, could joke, could laugh- perhaps would give Jason the chance to finally apologise for everything he’d ever said, finally be able to tell Dick how he felt-

The two brats looked so hopeful that Jason didn’t want to tell them that it was unlikely. Jason wanted to feel that hopeful too, just for a bit, just for a while.

“Does…does Bruce know?” Jason forced out after a few moments. He didn’t know what else to say. He was blinded by hope and fear.

“No,” Tim said, some of the hope dissapearing from his face although appearing back again seconds later. “He’d help us! We’d get access to the batcomputer and-”

“Father won’t let us,” Damian cut in, speaking for the first time since Jason had seen him. Jason absentmindedly noted that Damian had grown slightly taller since they’d last met. “He wants to let dead people lie.”

Jason fought back a wince at the truth. “It’s true,” he said gently. _When did he start caring about these brats?_ “If Dick is truly dead, we need to respect that.”

“But he’s not!” Tim protested, looking smaller than Jason had ever seen him. “He’s not dead. And I’m going to prove that!”

“I believe there must be an explanation,” Damian added, looking at Jason expectantly. “Are you coming with us or not? He was your brother too.” Damian held a hand out for Jason.

Jason looked at it in both surprise and distaste. After a few moments of consideration, he shook Damian’s hand.

“Fine. But don’t you come running to me crying when we find out he’s always been dead,” Jason said gruffly, attempting to snuff out the small flares of hope in his chest.

Dick could be alive.

Dick _was_ alive.

That’s what they all hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! As ever, please leave kudos, comments and bookmark!
> 
> Every single comment means the world to me and I'm so glad you have decided to join this rollercoaster of a fanfic with me!!
> 
> Will be updated some time next week!
> 
> EDIT: IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT SOME PEOPLE THINK XYLIA AND DICK ARE A THING- THEY'RE NOT! I felt like Dick deserved some love from a motherly/sisterly person for once. He was always the one giving away attention and love but no one gave him that. Xylia's meant to be like his big sister figure rather than a wife. The "married couple" thing is to throw off the Batfamily in case they find "John Xavier" suspicious and also gives Xylia an excuse to show Dick affection that'd be creepy if they weren't married. Notice they never actually kiss or do anything romantic, it's all platonic. Xylia kisses him on the cheek when she goes to the flower shop to throw off the teenage girls. The reason she goes there is just to check on Dick, not seduce him. 
> 
> Also, for bonus points, has anyone realised who Xylia is a reference to? [hint: Xavier is a clue]


	4. "Murderer"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We're murderers," he gasped. "Oh g-d, we're murderers."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter doesn't mention anything graphical about death however does contain rather strong implications of suicide and self-blame.  
> Basically this chapter is just quite sad.
> 
> Thanks for sticking around and I hope you enjoy Chapter Four - "Murderer"
> 
> Enjoy the short bit of comic relief in the beginning but get ready for feels. I don't know but the chapter name should have been a good enough warning.
> 
> This chapter includes a very highly requested character, Wally West- our favourite speedster.

“They’re coming,” Xylia repeated, looking haggard. Her chestnut curls was askew all over her pretty face, looking as though they had never met a brush before. “They’re coming.”

“Gosh Xylia,” Dick chirped cheerily as he breezed into the kitchen, holding a bowl of cereal. “One would think you were the one being hunted.” He tapped his spoon on the bowl, a clear ringing sound echoing around the small house.

“Nasty sound,” Midnighter huffed, as he came out of the guest room. “I don’t like it.” He pointed at the bowl and spoon Dick held. “Don’t look at me like, Dick, Apollo and I are leaving today and – oh- look at you smile at that news! What a nasty boy.”

Dick supressed his laughter.

“About time you two left,” Xylia said, flopping over on the sofa, where she’d been camping out on for the last few days, trying to come up with a plan. “Afterall, you’ve brought nothing but trouble and been nothing but trouble.”

“We already apologised, Xylia,” Apollo said lightly, coming out of the guest room with a suitcase.

“Just eat breakfast, I don’t want to deal with you guys,” Xylia muttered, flopping back onto her front and buried her head in the pillows.

“Ignore her,” Dick said, licking his spoon. “She’s sleep deprived.”

“Huh. I can tell,” Midnighter grunted.

* * *

“England!” Tim said, out of nowhere.

Damian fell off the armchair in shock and happened to knock onto Jason, who had been snoozing on the floor, who consequently bumped into Tim.

“What the hell Tim?” Jason spat, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. The last few days had been nothing short of hectic. Tim had insisted on Dick’s survival and had made them all read through reports and revising any video clips that were deemed suspicious.

Jason had to admit, Dick’s death had been fairly fishy.

For a start, Wally had done nothing about it.

Wally, Dick’s childhood best friend and partner in crime. The speedster had done nothing after reading his letter at the funeral and crying. The red-headed man had said no words of comfort towards them, instead glaring heavily at the three of them before handing the letter to Roy: who equally looked angry at them afterwards before the two red-heads left without another word.

And another reason of concern was the matter of the missing body.

While the fact that the blood found was worrying, it could have definitely been carried out by someone who knew what they were doing. Dick was perfectly capable of faking his own death, there was no doubt about that.

Coupled with the few sparse clippets of CCTV, Tim had managed to dig up showing flashes of a man who did look similar to Dick- it was just too hard to ignore.

“England! He would have probably gone to England!” Tim repeated, eyes wide although the eye bags were heavy and dark underneath them. “He mentioned in his…letter that he wanted to go somewhere where they were Romani people like him. A place where there was much less discrimination but at the same time where people were still similar enough to Gotham! Where else could he have been talking about?”

“That’s right,” Damian added, suddenly looking far more awake than someone should after having two hours of sleep. “Gray- Richard always wanted to go to the United Kingdom. He once told me that on patrol.”

Jason fixed his two younger brothers with a glare. Clearly they had a few screws loose from the little sleep.

“Well done for finding that out but have you ever considered how _big_ England is? That’s like telling us to find someone in France!” Jason exclaimed, levelling them with sharp looks.

“Read your letter, Todd,” Damian snapped, looking fairly hopeful. “Think about anything and everything Grayson’s ever said.” He grabbed a pen and snatched one of the blank papers which laid on the coffee table.

“Let’s do this!”

* * *

“Have you guys ever considered that Dick… left because of you guys?” Wally said softly, his green eyes flickering between the three of them.

During their craze of trying to find Dick, Tim decided to call Wally for some hints but the speedster had other ideas. Wally had come straight to them for a talk instead.

“What do you mean?” Damian demanded angrily. “Grayson would never abandon us! He loved us!”

“That’s the point,” Wally said softly although his tone was firm and hard, and if anything, was slightly cold. “He loved you guys but what did you ever do for him?”

There was a floored silence as the younger boys took in the information.

“What do you mean? Of course we did things for him,” Jason snapped angrily in defense. “We went on patrol together and threw a party on his birthday.”

“Grayson would sometimes spar with me, and we would work on cases together,” Damian added, glaring at Wally.

“…I think Wally’s got a point,” Tim said slowly. “We never really did anything for Dick. It was more like he did things for us. I can’t…” he started sniffling slightly, “I can’t remember the last time I did anything to Dick other than cry and shout.”

“Look, I know you guys don’t mean any harm but whether Dick’s dead or not, he deserves to rest in peace. If he’s dead then, you’ve got to learn to move on. Roy and I have moved on. The past is in the past,” Wally said.

“You don’t know anything!” Jason shouted, suddenly feeling angry. “He was our brother! He wouldn’t have just abando-”

“BUT YOU ABANDONED HIM,” Wally shouted back, even louder and redder. He took a deep breath in and carried on, although not so loudly. “He did everything, _everything_ for you guys. Do you _know_ how it felt? To see your best friend of fifteen years, _feeling so damn miserable and wanting to kill himself?_ Can you even imagine picking up the phone and the first thing he says to you is “ _Will anyone miss me once I’m gone?”_ Can you imagine?” Wally snapped, getting angrier and angrier as he continued.

“Dick’s DEAD, and you drove him to the grave. You're _murderers,_ ” Wally said accusingly, his eyes filled with hurt. “All of you. He told me everything, _every little bit._ That letter he gave me, it had everything. He poured his heart and soul out for all of you and you did nothing. Utterly nothing, as the most brilliant person to ever _grace_ this earth withered away to _death_ in front of your very eyes.” Wally let out a choked sob.

“Don’t even _talk_ about him. You’re not even worthy. You mocked him for his childhood, his pride. You forgot when the day when his parents were murdered in front of him. You scorned him for not having a childhood as painful as yours. You told him he had to be perfect. You said he should have stayed dead. Dick is _dead._ And even he _was_ still alive, he sure as _hell_ doesn’t want to be found so you should respect that,” Wally burst out.

The three boys looked at Wally in a mix of horror, realization and desperation.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t,” Wally muttered, tears starting to stream down his cheeks although he was still red with anger. The speedster turned and fled, leaving the front door wide open, the only indication that he’d even been there in the first place. A few stray sheets wafted down onto the floor from the sudden gust of speed.

“We’re murderers,” Tim gasped out, clasping his hand over his mouth, turning deathly white. “We killed Dick.”

“Tim- don’t you-” Jason began frantically.

“We killed him,” Tim repeated, tears starting to leak from his blue eyes as he started breathing in deeply. “He loved us and we killed him. Oh g-d, we’re murderers.”

Damian watched as Tim sobbed and Jason panicked, in a mix between wanted to breakdown himself and helping Tim.

Damian couldn’t help but feel empty.

He couldn’t see Grayson’s smiling face anymore.

_He was a murderer._

* * *

Wallace's voice hung in the air.

_"You're murderers."_

And the worst part was, none of them could even deny the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> This was probably my favorite chapter to write. 
> 
> Wally is such an amazing character and I absolutely love him. He's so raw and passionate and I just really enjoyed pouring my heart and soul into trying to portray him. 
> 
> Please leave comments <33
> 
> Next update will include Bruce. I promise. Maybe Roy but no promises there.


	5. A Long Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dick gets turned into a child and somehow knows where Wally lives and ends up seeing a heartfelt conversation between his two friends. Xylia is not a happy bunny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is fairly confusing so let me straighten a few bits out. 
> 
> Let's say the meeting place is really close to Wally's apartment and we're assuming Wally hasn't moved house since Dick died and Dick would know where Wally lived. (Yes the two red heads referenced are Wally and Roy).
> 
> Dick's mind may have regressed to a five-year-old's but he retains his knowledge and memory although he now has childish behaviour (unsurprisingly) 
> 
> Xylia's ability is to *copy powers* so she would have copied the guard's power but his ability is to only make people temporarily younger so she wouldn't be able to do anything with that to make Dick back to normal. 
> 
> She goes to lots of meta meet-ups because she *IS* a meta and can only copy powers from other metas. (Plus she's got a job which is sort of related to power copying but that's for another chapter).
> 
> Anyway, I'm so sorry for the delay in uploading this and the confusing plot!

Wally sighed, dragging his hand down his face as he wiped away any stray tears away furiously. He hadn’t wanted to get so caught up with Dick’s younger siblings. The wound was still freshly sealed, and Wally could practically feel it straining to open once more.

“Dick…” he muttered, running a hand through his red hair. “What wouldn’t I do to see you again…?”

He flinched slightly at the sound of footsteps in his house. It had been the first place he’d run to and he didn’t remember inviting anyone over.

“Wally, you look terrible,” Roy stated blandly, dressed in slacks as he glanced over at his friend, frowning. “What on earth happened?”

“Oh Roy, it’s just you,” Wally said, heaving a sigh of relief.

“Hey…what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Roy asked, placing down the cup of water he had been holding and walking over to Wally.

“… _They_ asked about Dick,” Wally said in a quiet voice. “And I’m not crying, Roy.”

Roy let out a light chuckle although his eyes said quite the opposite. “Why were the suddenly asking after all this time?” he said humourlessly. “Haven’t they done enough?”

Wally stayed silent, curling into a ball, silently blinking away his tears- not trusting his voice to reply to Roy without crying.

“All you do is _cry_ ,” Roy suddenly snapped, shooting up from his place. “Dick wouldn’t want that and you’re just making me miserable. I don’t know why I stick around.” Wally glanced up, used to Roy’s sudden mood swings.

“Just sto- I’m sorry,” Roy said, stopping his rant suddenly as he noticed Wally’s crestfallen face. “My temper seems to be getting shorter and shorter.”

Wally stayed quiet, gently patting Roy’s knee in response, gaining a small smile from the older red head.

“What would Dick say? Seeing us get along so well?” Roy asked to Wally although he wasn’t expecting an answer.

To his surprise, Wally did respond.

“Cry…probably.”

* * *

“Dick…please stop crying,” Xylia muttered, sounding absolutely dead as she dabbed at Dick’s eyes. “Mein Gott,” she added after he wouldn’t stop crying.

What had gone wrong?

It had all been fine in the morning. Xylia had been going to attend a meta-meeting in Central City when Dick volunteered to join her as well. This had not been the first time Dick had joined so Xylia begrudgingly allowed him to join her.

That was where everything went spiralling out of control.

Once they had gotten off the plane and arrived in Central City, it turned out they were late for the meeting and they had both had to run to the meeting place only to be rejected due to their lateness.

Xylia had cursed at the security guard in anger and hadn’t anticipated that the security guard would _turn Dick into a five-year-old._

And to make matters worse, Xylia hadn’t been able to use his power without making Dick even younger because it seemed as though the security guard’s ability only allowed people to become younger temporarily.

Dick had then proceeded to run off, and somehow managed to climb up a tree and watch two red heads talk in their apartment through their window. Xylia had managed to find him and get him down before he burst into tears, grabbing at her blouse.

“Xylia…I want to be Dick again,” he sobbed, his words slurring together as Xylia picked him up.

“…what did you do now?” she asked after a few moments, mentally relieved that Dick had managed to retain his memories although she wasn’t too sure why he suddenly had the mindset of a five year old.

“I miss my friends,” he muttered, as Xylia dabbed his tears.

“Dick…please stop crying,” Xylia muttered, sounding absolutely dead as she dabbed at Dick’s eyes. “Mein Gott,” she added after he wouldn’t stop crying.

“They’re crying about me Xylia! About me! I’m so close to them now, can’t I say hi?” he protested, blowing his nose noisily as he said so.

Xylia’s face softened slightly at the sight of child-Dick. His bleached hair remained bleached although his eyes were still bright blue and framed with long black eyelashes and his skin was slightly more tanned than before. She noted that he must have been a very skinny child. A loud sniffle from him drew her attention to the current situation again.

“So? Does it matter?” she said, coming across slightly harsher than she’d anticipated. Dick’s eyes welled up with tears again.

“Xylia!” he wailed, clutching at her brown locks, causing her to wince. “You’re so mean!”

His loud outburst drew a few passerbyers attention who all gave her sympathetic looks as Dick wriggled and wailed loudly in her arms.

Xylia gave out a loud sigh. This was going to be a _long day._

* * *

Bruce was tired.

He’d been feeling tired for a long time.

Ever since Dick had passed, Bruce hadn’t found the same energy he used to have. Even doing his duties as Batman felt useless and pointless.

What good could he do as a vigilante when he couldn’t even save his own son?

It had been a long day. Barry had suddenly wanted to talk to him about Dick and he had to rush over from Gotham to Central City. The conversation had been short-lived and had ended up in Bruce feeling mentally exhausted.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, he had taken the train back to the Gotham and had to pretend to be a normal civilian and not a multi-billionaire due to security reasons.

The train was fairly empty, but Bruce would rather be in his Batmobile than a ratty old train.

A young woman sat opposite him, looking very weary. She had a young boy sitting in her lap, fast asleep with one of his fists clutching one of her long brown locks. Bruce silently observed her out of boredom.

She had long chestnut hair and a pale freckled face with unusual eyes which were differently coloured but what stood out the most was the collection of scars which covered her face- especially the scar that seemed to mark an “X” over her right eye. What skin that was visible on her was littered with scars of all kinds, from her hands which were holding the child in her lap, to her neck which was left uncovered.

“You done ogling?” the woman asked sarcastically, raising an eyebrow at him.

Bruce internally flinched. He knew he hadn’t been obvious so how on earth did she know?

As he opened his mouth to speak, the boy in her arms stirred. He wriggled a little in her arms before settling down in some sort of sitting position, facing Bruce while his small legs dangled over her legs.

The boy blinked, looking at him.

“…Bruce?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading- 
> 
> Sorry for the cliffhanger. Bruce deserves to see his son.
> 
> Yes, that is Xylia and Dick at the end. Who else has multicoloured eyes? 
> 
> They're on the train to the airport and that train also stops off at Gotham which is why Xylia and Dick are on the train. 
> 
> Dick will obviously recognise Bruce because DuH they were family.
> 
> If anything seems confusing, just leave a comment or go up to the beginning notes. I've written out an explanation! 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments <3 they make my world go round.


	6. The child with blue eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce is tired. 
> 
> There's a boy who looked like Dick but that couldn't be right...Dick died last year and this boy could barely pass off as five.
> 
> It didn't mean that he couldn't dream though....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am on a ROLL right now
> 
> Here! To make up for absence!
> 
> This probably is one of the worse chapters but hopefully it's good enough. I've got some fluff at the end to make everything else feel a bit better.

_“Bruce?”_

* * *

Bruce flinched, whipping around to face the boy, his hearts leaping into his throat as he was met with blue eyes which had thought he had seen the last of.

“…Dick?” he breathed out, sounding shattered.

“Excuse me?” the woman snapped, pulling the boy towards her, looking uncomfortable. Bruce took a proper look at the boy.

He was skinny and had tanned skin, his eyes were a heart-achingly familiar shade of blue although the only big throw off was his bright blonde hair which looked as though it had been bleached. The boy was short too, looking no older than four or five, younger than Dick had been when Bruce had first met him.

Although there was no denying of the resemblance, there was no point getting hung up over it. Dick was gone.

“John, let’s go,” the woman said, tugging at the boy’s sleeve although the boy’s blue eyes were transfixed on Bruce. The boy didn’t budge, silent as he drank in Bruce’s appearance.

“Sorry, you just looked like my son,” Bruce said hastily as he saw the woman’s panic. “He was called “Dick”, I didn’t mean it as an insult. I’m Bruce…although your son seemed to my name already,” he said sheepishly as he scratched his neck although he wanted to cry at the likeness between the boy in front of him and the son he would never see again.

“My…dad was called Bruce,” the boy spoke up quietly. “You looked like him but the father who loved me is gone now.” The woman who was tugging at him stilled slightly, as if surprised.

“Come along, John,” she said gently. “He’s _not_ your father.” She said the last part with slight venom, pinning a heavy glare on Bruce that made him uncomfortably sweat, feeling as though Alfred had just chided him.

“I’m sorry,” Bruce repeated. “I’m sorry for your loss. If you’d ever need anyone to talk to, I’d be happy to talk…” he trailed off awkwardly as ‘John’ carried on staring at him despite the woman’s attempts to move him away. “I’ll just go,” he added, getting up but not before leaving a slip of paper with his number on.

As Bruce walked away, he managed to pick up the snippets of their conversation.

_“What was that?” Xylia snapped, sounding exasperated._

_“I miss him…”_

Bruce let out a sigh as he stepped off the train.

The boy had looked achingly like Dick before everything had gone wrong.

Xylia shook Dick aggressively as soon as Bruce stepped off the train.

“Why on _earth_ would do that?” she whispered aggressively. “You are so lucky he didn’t suspect anything- probably of how tired he was.”

“…Didn’t he look tired? I wonder if he misses me,” Dick mused, scratching his messy blonde hair, his childlike face alight with curiosity.

“Did you even listen to what I said?” Xylia muttered. Dick ignored her comment, pressing his face to the window, hoping to glimpse another view of Bruce. He was suddenly yanked from the window.

“Listen to me!” she snapped, “You do realise when he gets some sleep, he’s going to suspect something? We’ve already got the ragtag group of ex-Robins after us, I’d like it if freaking Batman wasn’t after us too.”

“Maybe there’s no point hiding anymore,” Dick said simply. “It was a pipe dream to have a life without them knowing.”

Xylia’s eyebrows furrowed as she heard him. Although Dick was physically in a child’s body, the weariness that she hadn’t seen for the last year slowly appeared on the childish face. It sank over him like a suffocating blanket of darkness, faint but still there.

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?” Dick asked. “It’s true. They’re never going to give up and I’m sure they’ve had time to reflect…” he trailed off, sighing, tears starting to drip down his cheeks. “I’m crying again, curse this five-year-old mind.”

Xylia gave out a fond a sigh as she pulled some tissues from her bag to dab his eyes.

“I… _hic…_ don’t know… _hic…_ to do anymore… _hic_ … _hic_ ,” Dick sobbed, leaning into Xylia, burying his face onto her blouse. “… _hic…_ I don’t want to hurt anybody… _hic…_ Am I selfish… _hic?”_

Leaning back, Xylia ran a hand through his short hair soothingly in a practiced motion.

“Of course, you are selfish,” she said, causing Dick to stiffen in her arms before she ploughed on. “But that’s okay, because out of everyone I’ve ever met, you have the purest heart and the sincerest intentions. You wear your heart out on your sleeve and you get hurt all the time. And you deserve every little bit of happiness you have achieved without the constant abuse from your previous family. It’s alright to start anew- it’s natural to miss them but at the end of the day, you are your own utmost priority- not anyone else.”

Dick stayed silent, his sobs slowly dying down.

“…And it’s going to be hard starting from scratch, but you’ve already been living a life without them for a year and achieved so many amazing things. You’ve made new friends, you have a job, you are studying a degree at university, you’ve been able to help and interact with people without the risk of them being in danger. I’m so _so_ proud of where you are right now and it’s not fair on you to just drop that for someone else.”

Dick’s arms around her tightened.

“Thank you Xylia. Thank you,” he murmured.

She smiled softly from over his head, running a hand through his unruly curls.

“Of course, Dick, anytime.”

* * *

“Midnighter, he’s a child! I don’t know what to do with a child!” Xylia’s voice screeched through the bad speakers of the phone.

“Darling, the reception is terrible. Oh dear you’re breaking up,” Apollo cut in smoothly, pressing the hang up button of the phone before she could get another word in.

Then he knocked on the door.

The door swung open followed by “I swear to Gott if it is another salesman I will-” the voice paused as Xylia realised who exactly it was at the door.

The door slammed in their faces.

Midnighter held out a hand to prevent the door from closing completely.

“That’s not a very nice greeting,” he said, shrugging but by then Xylia had already walked away into the apartment. Rolling his eyes, Midnighter walked into the familiar apartment, followed by Apollo.

“So what’s the matter?” Midnighter asked, sitting down on the couch. “I couldn’t decipher your screeching through the phone.”

A heavy and dark blob dropped into his lap.

Midnighter let out a surprisingly high-pitched scream.

“Hey Midnighter!” the blob greeted cheerily, unfazed by the scream.

Midnighter rubbed his eyes. A small boy with blue eyes came into focus.

“…Did Dick have a child?” Midnighter asked after a few moments, eliciting a giggle from the child. Apollo smirked from where sat opposite Midnighter, talking with Xylia about something in hushed voices.

“It’s me! Dick!” the child said cheerfully, knocking his forehead against Midnighter’s playfully.

_“…you're wot?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will NOT be the last we see of Bruce, I promise!!
> 
> Slade is coming soon, as well as the brothers (Steph and Cass are coming along as well!).
> 
> I should also point out that I put Midnighter and Apollo into this story purely for fluff and some plot movement. They are so precious and I loved their relationship although I haven't read their comics in a while so I'm sorry if they seem a little out of character! 
> 
> The last bit is meant to be Apollo and Midnighter attempting to surprise Xylia by showing up on her doorstep when she thinks they're still in America hence why she was calling them. 
> 
> Baby Dick is adorable though and I'm sad I can't stretch it out much longer anymore. 
> 
> Wally and Roy are characters in this so don't panic that last chapter was the last of them- they're just not super important but still vital to the plot nevertheless.
> 
> Check out my newest story about Dick but as a talon and as a time-traveller (sort of). It's called "Flying Solo" and portrays a world where Dick is the only Robin but the whole Batfamily still come together.
> 
> Check it out and don't forget kudos and comments! <333
> 
> Your comments make me so happy through this dark time. Hope you are all staying safe!


	7. A Twist Of Events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midnighter proves that he's terrible with kids, Xylia's hidden job, Bruce's shock and guilt, the redheads strike back, Slade makes a comeback, Kori makes a revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of hectic chapter to be honest but it will be way clearer next update! Basically, Slade and Kori are now characters that we will be seeing more of and Bruce- well Bruce just cracked the code.
> 
> Thanks for holding up :D Here's the update you guys have been waiting for!

“I see why you called us now,” Apollo said understandingly as he patted Xylia’s shoulder.

“Well obviously, what am I meant to do with a child?” Xylia grumbled, watching Midnighter and Dick excitedly chatter away. Although her tone was rough, her eyes were filled with fondness as she observed the two interact.

“He really is adorable,” Apollo went on. “Who knew he could be so chubby and adorable?”

Dick turned over, pouting, clearly indicating that he had heard their conversation.

“I’m not small,” he protested, looking down at himself. “I’m not _that_ small,” he corrected after a few moments.

“Of course not,” Xylia lied cheerfully, which lead to Dick smiling as he believed her words. He gave a quick salute before carrying on animatedly explaining something to Midnighter.

“You’re just like a mum,” Apollo said, grinning as he leaned on his elbows as he faced across from the breakfast bar. “What do you say? You might as well be his mum from the way you’re acting. There would be even less suspicion from the Bats if you did that,” he said thoughtfully, picking a grape from the fruit bowl.

Xylia stayed silent, swatting Apollo’s hand from taking anymore grapes from the bowl.

“I say, what a smart idea,” Midnighter cut in suddenly, making both Apollo and Xylia jolt in surprise. “There’d be no way they’d suspect Dick to be a tiny boy with a single mother, would they? You even have the same eye colour.”

“No way,” Xylia said, slamming her hand down on the table. “Do you know how much danger Dick would be in if we did that? He’s been safe so far masquerading as my husband but if news gets out that Agent X has a- oh _sh-”_ she slapped a hand over her mouth.

Apollo gave her a questioning look before raising an eyebrow. “You still haven’t told Dick about your ‘job’?”

Tiny Dick bounded up to them in curiosity, clinging onto Midnighter’s baggy trousers.

“What hasn’t Xylia told me?” he asked curiously, his little hands waving in the arms as he asked to be held.

Xylia glared at Apollo angrily, huffing. “Nothing,” she muttered.

“Tell me,” Dick demanded, sounding impatient and terribly annoyed although it didn’t really have the same effect it did due to his appearance being of a five-year-old. “Don’t laugh it off!”

“It’s just my job,” Xylia said briskly, changing the subject. “Midnighter and Apollo were just talking about something irrelevant.” She nervously picked at her glasses before sighing under Dick’s harsh gaze. “I’ll tell you later.”

There was an awkward silence for a few moments as everyone was at a loss for words.

“Alrighty then, so are you going to pretend to be Dick’s mum?” Midnighter asked. “You said the guy who did this says it normally lasts a few months. That’s more than long enough to get the papers temporarily changed to make him your son.”

“No. Discussion over,” Xylia snapped harshly, slamming her hand down on the table which sent Dick into hysterical sobs which in turn made Midnighter drop him in shock.

"DID YOU JUST DROP DICK-"

* * *

“Father, what is wrong?” Damian asked as Bruce walked into the Batcave with a face that looked even more weary than usual.

Bruce was silent as he sat down at the bat computer, only a few milliseconds of eye-contact that indicated that he had even acknowledged the presence of his son. He pulled a small bag which had a long black hair in.

“What’s that?” Damian demanded, feeling fairly annoyed that his father had ignored him. He reached over to take it, not expecting a massive over-reaction as Bruce flinched dramatically.

“Don’t touch it,” Bruce shouted, shoving Damian onto the floor, shock setting in a few seconds as he realised what he had done. “Damian, I’m sorr-”

“Save it,” Damian spat out, looking hurt and angry as he stormed out of the batcave. Bruce froze as he watched his youngest son fade up the stairs. Sharp spikes of guilt dug into him as he remembered how Dick would do exactly that when he was younger.

With shaky hands, Bruce turned back to the computer again, taking the hair and placing it into a scanner next to the keyboard.

He patiently waited for it to load as he sipped at his cold coffee.

The results finished loading with a ping.

Bruce dropped his mug.

* * *

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Roy whispered to Wally. Wally shook his head mutely as he watched the small black-haired boy burst into tears as a young brown-haired woman comforted him.

“He looks _exactly_ how Dick used to look but a little younger,” Roy continued, opening the window, checking that the boy and woman had left before stepping out of the window. Wally did the same, appearing next to him in a matter of milliseconds.

“Hey, Wally? Are you alright?” Roy asked, looking over at his fellow redhead, not expecting Wally to be crying. He immediately dug around in his pocket and fished out an old napkin to offer to his friend. Being a dad really changed the things he had in his pockets.

“I’m fine,” Wally said, sounding the opposite of fine. “It’s just that, Dick hinted that he may not have committed suicide in his letter and with Jason and Tim finding a clue about Dick’s survival and now a kid who looks identical to Dick- I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

Roy looked crestfallen as Wally broke down into tears and muffled sobs. “I just want him back Roy,” the speedster muttered.

* * *

“Interesting,” Slade muttered, watching Xylia scan the area for people before stepping out onto the road. “You’ve changed a lot since we’ve last met, Agent X.”

What threw him for a loop was the little boy who toddled out seconds after her with the most unique blue eyes which he’d believed he would never see again.

A smirk flickered on the old mercenary’s face.

“Well…well…what do we have here? Did Agent X have a child with my old apprentice?”

* * *

Kori stared at the letter that sat ominously on her desk. The paper was worn and thin, dark ink starting to pale into a light grey.

Where had everything start to go wrong?

Dick died, Roy left, Jason left…and it had been all her fault.

If only she could turn back time… Kori closed her eyes, trying to reminisce the happier times, back to when all the Titans were still around and happy.

“You want to turn back time?”

Kori shot an energy bolt in the direction of the voice, startled.

“Woah! That nearly hit me! But my offer still stands- I can give you the chance to turn back time, but at a cost, of course. What do you say? Kori’ander, _murderer of Dick Grayson?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments? Please?? 
> 
> Thanks so much for sticking around and I hope you liked it! 
> 
> More comments = faster updates   
> It's been scientifically proven guys ;)
> 
> On a side note, follow my lovely jovely friend @golden._.rayed on Instagram who is freshly starting out as an art account and has drawn some lovely stuff and will be drawing some art for this story so be sure to follow her :D   
> (On a further side note: the Xylia she has drawn is based off my character but is not the same!!!!)


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